The Real L Word. Really?

Another reality show to look forward to right? Well, I don’t really think so. Besides the fact that we know I am not the largest supporter of reality television, I feel especially unhappy about this one.

For the many people who don’t know what the hell I am talking about, The L Word, was a drama series on Showtime. The show centered around a group of Lesbians who were friends and how their lives intertwined their friendship, relationships etc. It was actually a pretty good show, but in the last few seasons I feel that it jumped the shark. (If you don’t know what Jumped the Shark is, it refers to the episode that The Fonz literally jumped over a shark on his motorcycle. Google both, its lots of fun.)

The L Word followed in the success of Queer as Folk on Showtime, which was also a hugely successful program for Showtime and really helped them stand out in the pay tv market. Showtime really worked to gain a GLBT following of their channel. This started with Queer as Folk, and they would also throw in a lead in cartoon sometimes called Queer Duck (which is really funny check it out). Also for a while on a certain night each month they would do what they called Queer night out, which usually consisted of an episode of Queer duck and a GLBT movie. Now this was actually pretty cool, as it was not terribly easy to see gay cinema in years past, it is getting more mainstream but still back in the day, not easy.

They did a good job of getting their following and as long as the programming is good the community will stay loyal. That being said, right now Showtime does not have any gay programming. Queer as Folk has been off for years, and The L word ended as well. So besides the random gay characters they have on various other shows they have on the air right now, nothing. So what to do?! We have to act fast before people drop the channel! We could always shit out a Reality Show. OH YEAH LET’S DO THAT!

Every time I see the commercial for this “The Real L Word” I feel like I can feel the desperation emanating from the television screen. I have many problems with this show and it hasn’t even premiered yet.

First, dude, Showtime, C’mon! I realize these are desperate times, and now you have shot your wad with Queer as Folk, and Lesbian Queer as folk, but you gotta do better than a freaking reality series. Plus honestly, a reality series about gay men might be way more entertaining than the lesbians! I mean I’m not sure, but really, I can’t imaging these chicks aren’t going to be constantly surrounded by bull shit and drama. Which is entertaining for a minute, but after a while is hardly believable and exasperating.

Second, as one of the loyal fans of The L word, and one of the fans that the show disappointed with a LAME ass ending, and a less than awesome last few seasons, I am shocked, appalled and horrified that you would want to associate a new reality show with the other fictional show. I mean, you are in essence naming this reality series the same thing as the old show. Do you not feel that this may bring up some of the negative memories and connotations of the original L Word? Or are you concerned that if you named it something else, not everyone would immediately know there are lesbians on tv? I mean who are you making this show for? Are you making it for the Glbt community, or are you making it hoping that it will gain a major straight men following while dressing it up as a show for the GLBT community?

I am sure people asked the same question when The L word came out, but that show was actually written well, and I am sure attracted viewers from all kinds of demographics. But I feel like this new show the Real word, I don’t know, I smell a rat somewhere. That’s the only way I can articulate it.

Third, I am officially calling shenanigans on the fact that it is a reality show. Develop a good show, cause I am out on the reality series. I havent decided if I am going to watch an episode or two of it yet, so feel free dear readers to tell me what you think. But I have to warn you all that if I watch it, and it is really bad, we will revisit this topic, so I can call additional shenanigans.

As a whole, I think the whole damned thing is a bad idea. But what the hell do I know? This new Reality Show mindless Pavlom, will probably be a smash hit, between the Lesbians and the Straight guys who won’t be able to tear themselves away from the sexy drama, that will surely make up The Real L Word.

What I saw in my FlashForward…

Well damn, another one of my shows has been officially cancelled. FlashForward has been shit canned, which sucks for me cause I was pretty into the show. This is not the first time one of the tv shows I watch has been cancelled, sometimes it is understandable, and sometimes you can see it coming a mile away. FlashForward specifically, I kind of saw coming. Mainly because ABC screwed with the show from the get-go, and it was destined to fail because of it. But the networks have burned me before I tell you. Let me tell you the story of a little show called “Vanished”.

Vanished, was a Drama/Mystery/Thriller on Fox back in 2006. It was an interesting little kidnapping show, in that people are trying to find out who kidnapped a lady and get her back, and catch the kidnappers. So everything was cool until episode 9 when they killed the main character for some bat shit crazy reason. Episode 10 airs people realize that they really did kill him off and it wasn’t a dream, nor is he coming back. Then, Fox yanks it, mid-season, episode 11, 12, and 13 never aired. After much bitching on the part of the fans, Fox agrees to for a short period of time put the last 3 episodes on their website for fans to watch. Mid season, 3 episodes left, never going to air them, that’s BRUTAL.

What sucks the most about FlashForward getting cancelled is that this is yet another show that for me will have no ending. I hate it so much when Networks do this, you get all into the story, characters and the show, you hang on with the plot try to figure out whats happening and whats going on, and then BAM, cancelled. Now you are never going to know how it ends, or the answers to all the questions. Not being a fan of the show Lost, I can only imagine how those folks feel. But at least they got some answers over the years, FlashForward lasted one season. Which really felt like two because it took like a 6 month hiatus in the middle of the first season, brilliant planning on that one ABC.

The show had a pretty cool premise, and it was nice to not see another Medical Drama, Crime Drama, or Reality Show. Because let me tell you, (to all the tv exec’s that are totally reading my blog daily) Medical Dramas are way too plentiful, and I for one have been ruined for Medical Dramas because of ER. I watched ER  for all 15 years it was on. Now let me polarize that statement by telling you I am 30 years old. I watched ER for HALF MY LIFE, and it was a great show. So you’re not going to replace that show for me, I am over Hospital Dramas. Now I know other people love them and all that, so keep making them, but make them good and make them in fewer numbers. Though truth be told, I love me some Nurse Jackie but the description of that is a Dramedy, so I am still technically telling the truth.

Crime Dramas.. Meh. You know what used to be cool about Crime Dramas? They used to have characters that you would care about, and the show would be more about the characters than what crime they were solving. Somehow, somewhere this got switched to the show being almost all about the crime part of the story, and the actors story is superfluous to the show. So that if you miss an entire season, or a few weeks or what have you it doesn’t matter at all, you’re really not missing a beat. That sucks and that is not what I am looking for. If all I care about is the crime aspect of the story, then I will go watch anything Bill Curtis is narrating or something on the ID channel.

Reality Shows make me cringe. I mean its funny to me that they are as popular as they are. When the Writer’s strike happened a few years back, we knew it was coming. I read something funny at one point a few years back, saying something to the effect of, you better like game shows and reality shows or go ahead and sell your tv now. I mean it was no secret that game shows and reality shows are cheap and easy to produce, and no one writes them so get ready to see shit tons of them. But whats surprising to me is that people love them still. I mean what Reality Show can they put on tv that you haven’t already seen at this point? So why are we still entertained by this? I don’t know, I guess some of them are okay, but as a whole I am not a fan.

Ok, here’s my point, network television sucks, as I scroll through my DVR settings I realize more and more I am getting away from network television. Mainly because their programming isn’t competing for my attention the way it used to. Cable networks and Premium channels have way better content, and can afford to pay more for the programming they produce. Plus, it is really starting to seem like actors and actresses are beginning to gravitate more to Cable and Premium channel programing, probably for a million different reasons, but I think because overall the shows are better.

The networks just keep shooting themselves in the foot. The whole Conan/Leno thing this year, the news affiliates screaming their heads off about it, but their worst problem is that they are training the public to wait out the shows at this point. What I mean by that is, it looks more and more like it’s not worth getting into a show until it has a season or two under its belt. You can actually afford to do that these days with Netflix, On Demand, and Hulu, it’s not terribly hard to watch a few seasons of a show so that you can get into a show well after it started.

So now it’s not worth investing the time in getting into a show in its first season. How are the networks going to change this public perception? I don’t see it happening, all I see is crappy programming in a revolving door getting regurgitated over and over again. In the spirit of the show I will tell you what I saw in my FlashForward… More reality shows that make me want to shove crayons into my brain to make myself stupid, a la Homer Simpson.

Canadian Erectile Dysfunction Medication Commercials…Funny!

What a crazy topic right? Well stick with me, it is surprisingly interesting. Maybe a little explanation as to how I came to enjoy these very specific commercials. Just this last week, I was spending some time in Buffalo NY. As many of you may know, I am a big hockey fan. During my time in Buffalo there were a few different hockey games I wanted to watch, and in one instance, one of the games was playing on a Canadian Tv Station.

So, I’m watching “Hockey Night in Canada” and having a good time about it already, because I love me a Canadian accent, I don’t know it just so innocent, and funny. AND Don Cherry was all over that bitch! Here in the Burgh our exposure to Don Cherry is so very limited which is clearly a blessing and a curse. Because, Don is like your a bit more than slightly tweaked grandfather, who just keeps going off and going off and no one wants to hear it.  Who keeps  yelling, and repeating the same thing over and over again, and sometimes the “same” thing changes slightly, and for some reason Pappy is wearing a suit that is made out of hideous curtain material.  FUN!

So, through all this great fun already then come the commercials, and let me tell you Canadian Commercials are different anyway, so If you are ever presented with a chance to watch yourself some Canadian TV do take the opportunity. But then I see this:

Pretty good right? Now give this one a ride:

Ok, so what have you noticed? Number one they use humor! Most of the U.S. commercials do not, typically they use fear of talking to your doctor, or laying in adjacent bathtubs, that are outside for some reason, to hawk their pills. But number 2 is why I love these commercials, they are like 30 second spots so there is no superfast talking at the end of the commercial, about the side effects and all that legal jargon they have to throw in. AND I suspect that in Canada they are not allowed to say the following words on TV, Penis, Erectile Dysfunction, Priapism, and all the other crazy shit that we get to hear 47 times a day.

I am and have always been against Censorship, and thank god everyday for our freedom of speech. Cause I mean really, if you know me, you know as well as I do, that with out that freedom of speech I would have been locked up or executed YEARS ago for the shit that comes flying out of my mouth.  But really, I have to give props to the Canucks for doing it this way. I mean it’s so wierd that in the U.S. those commercials play all the time, and you know kids are hearing all about how if you have a stiffy for more than 4 hours, it’s called a Priapism, and you best take your stiffy to the doctor about it. Do 7 years olds need to be discussing this? Does this really affect them?

Do I really need to see these commercials 47 times a day? No, but I understand why I do. I watch stuff that a large group of their target audience watches. Ok, but come on, you are already making these fantastic commercials for our neighbors to the North, PLUS they are shorter so less air time would cost less and increase profits!

I’m sure our Viagra and Cialis commercials will not be changing, and maybe its cruel of me to show these to you, because now you have a taste of what it could be like. But how awesome would it be, to be watching these instead of:

You know, I was going to post one here, but instead, just turn on the closest TV. You’ll see one in a few minutes.

To Catch a Predator, remember that show?

I find myself on many Sunday nights watching MSNBC,  because they show reruns of the Dateline series “To Catch A Predator”. For those of you who have never seen this show or don’t remember it, Dateline NBC set up their cameras to catch these “predators” showing up at a house to meet a young (underage) teenage girl or boy.

They worked with a group called Perverted Justice, who set up profiles posing as young teenage (underage, typically 13-15) boys and girls in chat rooms online and waited for adults to contact them. After an adult contacted them looking for sexual activity with a minor, they would set up a meeting place with these adults and they would either show up or not. The ones that showed up were then filmed by Dateline, and the host Chris Hansen would ask the men (no women ever showed up on the show) questions, and present them information from the chat log that was recorded by Perverted Justice.

After the questions and speaking with these men, they were informed that they were talking Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC and they were doing a story on Online Predators, and that they were free to go. When they left the house they were promptly arrested by the local law enforcement officials, and taken to jail.

While this show creeps me out to a certain degree, I can’t help but enjoy watching it for a few different reasons. The first and most important reason is because these people who show up at these houses trying to have sex with a young teenage girl or boy, are disgusting. These messed up people deserve to go to jail, and I get a certain satisfaction from watching them get arrested.  Watching them get questioned by Law Enforcement Officials, and get taken to jail. Then at the end of the show find out what crimes they were charged with, and what their sentence was.

Another reason I enjoy watching this show, and I am almost ashamed to admit this, sometimes it is funny. Not in the funny ha-ha sense, but I find it amusing to watch these men twist in the wind. By that I mean when they get caught completely off guard, don’t know whats going on, and they think that this guy talking to them is the girl or boys father. So sometimes, they will start lying a little to try to get themselves out of this mess, and they will say “oh no, they said they were 18, and I never said anything about having sex with anyone”.

Then Chris Hansen busts out the chat log, and he says oh, well I have the chat log and right here, you ask how old they are and they said 14. Then you said this, this and that and then send a webcam Picture of your penis. What say you to that Senor Scumbag? The blank look of Oh MY God , I am so screwed is what I mean by twist in the wind, and I love it. Sometimes these people have seen previous shows, and are like “oh yeah I know who you are”.  You have to think that after a few of these shows it was a bit of a deterrent to some people. But, people kept showing up, and they would keep showing up today! One guy showed up twice! Two different shows!

What I find so disturbing about this short-lived series, is that it really opened my eyes and I hope hundreds of thousands of other peoples too, is just how many pedophiles, and predators there are out there. When I had thought about this issue in the past, I knew there were pedophiles and predators out there, but I really thought they were few and far between. This show proved that this is just not the case at all, there are so many people out there looking to take advantage of a young girl or boy, and it is shocking. Many of the men would show up with alcohol, many would show up with drugs, and one man showed up with rope. What the hell he was going to do with that rope we may never know. But it is not outside the realm of possibility that one or more of these men, considered killing the child as well.

While watching To Catch a Predator last night, I noticed that the one I was watching was filmed in 2006, and I  knew they didn’t make them anymore, but couldn’t remember why. After thinking about it for a few minutes I came to the conclusion that it must have had to do with Entrapment laws. But after I looked into it today I found out that part of the reason they do not make this show anymore has to do with a lawsuit that was filed by a woman, who claims her brother was driven to commit suicide because of the show.

She claimed in the lawsuit that her brother who was a Dallas prosecutor fatally shot himself after being accused of having a sexually explicit online conversation with (presumably one of the members of Perverted Justice) an adult posing as a 13-year-old boy. She also claimed that even though her brother did not show up at the house to meet the boy, NBC was insistent that police arrest him anyway. Apparently when the police came looking for him, he at that point fatally shot himself.

Now, I feel like this situation should not have happened. If this man did not show up at the house then NBC should have nothing to do with it, and clearly that is why they got sued. The judge in the case was quoted as saying that NBC  ”crossed the line from responsible journalism to irresponsible and reckless intrusion into law enforcement.” And I tend to agree that a line was crossed in this instance, but I feel that it unfortunate that they opted to cross this line. Because I feel that this show was providing a great service to the community, they were rounding up 10-30 predators per show!

I know that larger Law Enforcement Agencies have a task force or a group that works on Online predators and things of this nature but this show was doing a good job of it too.  So, while I appreciate that my tax dollars are actually hard at work combatting this problem, I would love to see this show come back on the air. Last I checked this shows future was “uncertain” and unfortunately it has been for sometime now. But I am going on the record that I would love to see this show again, and please if by some miracle it does come back, Chris Hansen must host it. He is by far my favorite pervert buster ever.